Well after a month on the road I was able to make it home. It’s always good to see family and friends. I always spend the first few days with my kids. I get to see them in between work. However, this time was my son’s birthday, so we spent the entire night out. He, his GF, my daughter, and her BF. Had a nice dinner at Texas Roadhouse and then went bowling. It’s been years since I’ve done that.

I did spend the first full day at the Harley dealer getting some new parts put on. Gifts for me. Figure I work hard.

Also got to spend some time with my parents and offer a hand at the humane society. It seems they are down to really no employees. So both my dad and mom are putting in long hours to help. I ended up taking them out for dinner. I wanted spaghetti and didn’t want my mom to cook it. It was fun.

The hardest part though was the day before I left. I went riding with some friends and stopped a few bars to bars to listen to live music. It was here my emotions began to unwind. I saw so many couples out dancing and laughing. Things that Paula and I did. I really do miss her. And honestly not sure how to move forward. Right now I’m on autopilot. Everything seems to piss me off and am finding myself getting mad at everyone. On the way home from my ride I found myself yelling over the rumble of my Harley.

I look in the mirror and find someone I don’t like. I find myself ugly and just plain sour. I know of other people in my life that have lost loved ones. Wonder how they deal with it. I’m not a big talker, but I do read and can listen.

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